How to Help Your Parents Navigate Social Media

By Dr. Barrett Mosbacker

August 24, 2013

It has always been a challenge to raise children, but in today’s networked, always-connected world it is even harder. Social media has opened up a whole new frontline in the battle for our children’s minds and hearts.

Wringing our hands will not help our parents. Condemning the evils of the Internet and social media will not help them. Suggesting that they unplug is both wrong and unrealistic.

Our responsibility is to provide them and their children with biblical and practical guidance on how to use social media in a Christ-honoring fashion. We should prayerfully strive to teach them to “take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ,” including thoughts and practices related to the use of social media.

Rather than write an article on how best to help parents, I thought it might be just as helpful to share the outline of a talk I prepared for our Elementary PTF. It can certainly be improved and expanded upon, but perhaps it will provide you with some talking points for your own presentations. Keep in mind that the following are talking points, not a written article, so the format and punctuation reflect that purpose.

How to Help Your Children Navigate the World of Social Media: PTF Talking Points

Why We Create Technology

Animals do not create technology, nor do they create culture and civilizations. Only man creates technology. Why? What enables and compels human beings to create tools and technology?

1. We Are Made in God’s Image

We create — including technology — because we are like God. We bear his image and share in some of his attributes and abilities. Genesis 1:1–25 describes God’s creative work, and at the end of each creative act Moses writes, “And God saw that it was good.” Moses then describes God’s creation of man:

Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness” (Genesis 1:26a).

When the Bible describes man as made in God’s image, it means that God made man a little like himself. We are, to put it plainly, “chips off the old block.” God, the Creator of all that exists, saw fit to share with us many of his divine attributes. Like God, we too are spiritual beings. We are able to love. We have a kind of moral freedom. And we are able to create.

We create wheels, space stations, and smartphones because we are like our Creator. Technology is an expression of that creativity in practical ways that can make our lives better and, in doing so, brings honor to the Creator whose image we bear.

2. Technology Is Neutral, We Are Not

But like everything we touch, sin corrupts our use of God’s good gifts. Technology is morally neutral, but how it is used is not. Our challenge is not to run away from technology but to use it for good.

Benefits of Social Media

• Connecting with friends and family
• Rapid communication
• Sharing and preserving memories

Challenges of Social Media

• Loneliness in a crowd
• We leave digital breadcrumbs and lose privacy
• From our children’s earliest ages, pictures posted by parents and relatives enter the public domain. There is no longer a childhood refuge of privacy while growing up.
• Cyberbullying

Biblical Principles to Teach Your Children

• The Golden Rule:

So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets (Matthew 7:12).

• Whatever Is Excellent:

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things (Philippians 4:8).

• A Good Reputation:

A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches, and favor is better than silver or gold (Proverbs 22:1).

• Bad Company Corrupts Good Morals:

Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals” (1 Corinthians 15:33).

General Principles to Teach Your Children

• Do not ignore real people and those with you.
• Do not text, email, chat, record, or do anything else through social media that you would not do in person or would not say in front of your parents or pastor.
• If you misuse social media, we will restrict your use of technology. We will talk about it, learn from it, and start fresh.
• Do not gossip about others online.

Tips for Parents to Follow

• Be a parent.
• Set clear standards.
• Be a good example.
• Use social media as a vehicle to teach important biblical principles and wisdom:

And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates (Deuteronomy 6:6–9).

• Supervise connected friendships just as you would physical friendships.
• Monitor your children’s use of devices and social media.

Rules to Enforce with Your Children

• The device belongs to the parent; it is on loan to the child.
• You may inspect any device at any time, and you should.
• You will always know the password for every device, internet site, and service.
• Have all devices turned in at bedtime. Do not leave them in your child’s room at night.
• Limit time on devices.
• If a device is lost or damaged, require your child to pay or work toward its replacement.

How to Deal with Cyberbullying

• Do not assume it is always someone else’s child. Your children and mine are sinful. They lie. They can bully others.
• If a parent contacts you about your child’s online behavior, listen — be quick to hear, slow to speak — and do not seek to defend. Seek the truth so that you can respond biblically to the parent and to your child.
• Teach, discipline, and restrict if your child abuses others through social media.
• Do not ask the school to do your job. We are here to help, but we cannot police the Internet or address everything that happens outside of school. That is your responsibility. Do not avoid conflict with other parents by asking the school to handle situations that occur after school hours and that fall within your purview.
• If your child is being bullied online, contact the other child’s parents. Speak the truth, as you understand it, in love. Listen carefully to ensure you have the full story.
• Have your child unfriend, unfollow, and block the perpetrator. Do not allow them to remain in the firing line.
• When appropriate — for example, when abuse occurs during school hours or at a school event — report it to the parents and to a teacher, coach, or principal.

Parental Controls and Filtering Tools

A variety of parental control and web-filtering tools are available to help you monitor and protect your children’s online activity. These range from browser-level search restrictions to dedicated filtering applications and family monitoring services. Research the options that best fit your family’s devices and needs, and implement them consistently.

Parents desire and need our help. Be proactive and reach out to them through a presentation, a workshop, or an article. They will appreciate it.